I have a few things to nitpick at today. One of them is the nightmare that is nearly ever artists life and that is customer service. Almost all of us have been then and it is painful. I currently work at a fast-casual style restaurant on the edge of a collection of millionaire homes. Oh, the stories I could tell! Let's start with this one: A woman came into the store right around ten minutes to closing. We sell these coffee mugs and they're $2.49 and they come with a cup of coffee. Neat-o, right!? Well, this is what went down; said woman came in and began ordering some food. She was of African-American decent and while that seems incredibly insensitive now, you'll see why it's not later. So she comes up to my register with her daughter who is maybe four or five and spots the nice pink and yellow polka-dotted coffee mugs sitting in front of my drawer.
"These are too cute! How much are they?"
Never mind the sign beneath your nose, "They are $2.49 and that comes with a cup of coffee." After saying this I can begin to see the gears cranking round and round in her skull. I hate this look. I call it the 'I'm figuring out why I'm dissatisfied' look. It means bad news.
"Well what if I don't like coffee?" My first thought is 'then why do you need a coffee mug?' but then I realize we sell hot tea and that is a perfectly suitable alternative.
"Well ma'am, we also serve hot tea, and I'd be happy to substitute coffee for tea for you. What kind would you like?"
"Well I don't like tea neither." She said neither. I remember.
"Um..." Thinking, thinking, thinking, "Well I suppose you could just buy the coffee mug and not put the coffee in it." I mean that's essentially what she wants me to say no? Oh how naive I was.
"Now why would I ever do something like that?" Hold up now, you're the one who wants this coffee mug sans the coffee. "Can't I put this lemonade in here?"
"Well you could, but you'd have to buy the lemonade. It's $2.29." Logical solution.
"And what would prompt me to do that!?" Again I remind you that you're the one who wants this coffee mug so badly and you're the one who doesn't want anything remotely like coffee in it. "Oh I see how this establishment is run. Ya'll are racists. You know what this is? This is discrimination!" Did you hear my understanding of this situation come screeching to halt? I vaguely remember being thoroughly confused as to how this woman took a perfectly normal, mild argument, hijacked it, and jumped of the Space Needle with it in tow. Racism? I never even mentioned your skin color! I mean sure coffee is black, but...
"Racism! Us lemonade lovers are forced to suckle down coffee and nobody ever sees the sensitivity behind it all." Okay now you really lost me. Two things; since when are people who drink lemonade a race. They're no more a race than I'm growing an eco system in my gal bladder. Also, I think lemonade over coffee is a matter of taste, where as my ethnic background is not. Story goes we argues back and forth a bit about how I'd get in trouble if I just gave it to her and she asked why multiple times. Eventually my manager came over and just gave her the lemonade cause he was just sick of hearing about it.
Then he wandered of to his various duties and I finished ringing her up. Somewhere in the midst of sending her on her merry way she stated, "That was f**** ridiculous. Right?" After which she peered over her glasses and stared me directly in the eye. Call it a hunch, but I got an eerie feeling if I said no, I was definitely going to get pistol whipped in the jaw. It had just been one of those fifteen minute segments.
So, the point of all this was to let you know that if you're an artist, you're not alone. There are a great deal of us that put up with the bullshit of people who feel entitled day in and day out. If you're not, there's an insight into the life of me. Do with it what you will.
~Just Another Pistol Whip-Fearing Artist
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