Dedication

     I took a three hour nap today. Justification. I work at a bakery of sorts and let me tell you, baker's hours are the worst. I have a new found respect for sleeping in. What? You don't want to work at 7:00am? Fine. I'll gladly trade you. Here, have my 1:30am shift. I know right? You get used to it, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. As an artist, sometimes you have to pull some strange hours as well. I know someone who worked at Starbucks while doing local theater. The director for the company was a bit of a stickler during tech week and insisted on finishing the show every night. There were times we were there until two or three in the morning after a 6:00pm call. And there were even times we didn't finish the show! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. My point is though, he would work until about twelve or so, rest, eat, go to rehearsal, rehearse from 6:00 to about 2:30am, go home, eat real fast, toss on his uniform and work straight through until twelve again. Let me tell you, during tech week, you come to live for opening night. Not only is it the end of performing for an awkward audience of one, (Your director who still insists on clapping, which only furthers the awkward aroma of the night.) but you can sleep in the next morning. If ever there were heaven on Earth, it was sleeping in the morning after opening night.
     I'm gonna bring this full circle with a lesson. Dedication is what you do when you want, need, or love something. That something can be anything from your significant other, to work, to a local project your heart is set on, but the fact of the matter is, because you care so deeply about what it is you're doing, or the benefits you may reap from it, you throw yourself into it whole heartedly.  I did Aida in high school, and let me tell you what a trip this whole production was. There were times I debated entering my first scene by leaping from the catwalk a la Spiderman: Turn of the Dark in hopes that the fall might send me into comatose. At least then I wouldn't have to put up with the bounds of bullshit that production stirred up. I played Radames in the production, and there was a night during tech week that we were rehearsing the song "Not Me". Night after night it only seemed to sound worse and worse and it was the most thoroughly frustrating thing. I felt like no matter how hard we tried, it only ever plummeted deeper into the depths of ear piercing horse shit. I tried to work things out with our director, our conductor, the other actors and eventually I felt myself lunging over the edge. Shit dude, I was going to cry, and I'll be damned if I was going to do it on that stage. I began making my exit stage right and on my way out ran into, head first mind you, a tall steel lighting tree that held up ellipsoidal lights to back light some of the actors. I staggered for a moment, but was persistent on not letting these people see me lose it. I eventually made my way outside, recomposed myself, and finished the rehearsal. Like a professional. Boo-ya.
     It was quite the experience, and one I will never forget. As my Amneris explained to me, "It was like one giant 'What the fuck?' came crashing down over the theater." In some ways I take pride in this, in others I simply giggle. Nonetheless I pressed forward and finished the full run of the show, and to be fully honest, was quite proud of a lot of it. Our Aida tore up the many belting ballads and roaring riffs the show presented her with, our Amneris commandeered the stage like it was nobody's business and upstaged everyone with her sheer beauty, and, without bragging, I got a couple compliments on my acting and singing from strangers. Given the chance, I would go back and do it again and that, my friends, is dedication.
    You can do something that makes you scream and shout to the point of ripping your hair out, but if at the end of the day, you'd do it all over again? Well call me a monkey's uncle and pierce my nipples if that isn't what you were born to do.

~Just Another Passionately Starving Artist